No Time for Games

Here is another reason why I am okay with being single: Too many people these days play games, I am 29 years old...I am not going to play games with someone who is supposed to be grown. Is the chase fun? Yes, but I am not going to break my back to get your attention. If some one tells you they are interested, takes your number but never uses it, then do not waste your time on them. Yell "NEXT" and keep it moving. They will realize what they lost out on once they see someone else enjoying it. I have been watching too many of my friends stuck in a cycle of games. And it goes both ways. I do not know if it is because we are getting older and some of us have been in bad relationships so we try and test everyone we meet in fear of getting stuck in another bad relationship? The fear of being hurt again. Or the need for attention? What ever the reason, its sad. If you are truly interested in someone than show it, follow through, do not leave them hanging. If you have a change of heart after asking for their number or after spending time with them, then be honest that its not going to work. Do not string people along. Treat others the way you want to be treated..always.

Movin on Up

Movin on Up....to the East Side of the Bay!

in 2 weeks I'll be back in NorCal!  New job location, meeting new people, new adventures!

Follow your Gut

This will probably be short....but if you're a woman, you more than likely have a built in sense of when something isn't right. Hold on to it. It's your red flag...

I've had my red flag flying for a while now but something still happens and I fall over and over into the pit of 'Hope and Optimism' and then I get burned and disappointed and sometimes lied to.

However, I love being that Hopeless Romantic type...where I get flowers unexpectedly, and go away on vacations at a moments notice, and go out for happy hour just because!

Thank my Mom

Sitting around the table I hear my lovely mother joking about her boobs sagging and dimples in her thighs; how things are just not the same. My dad replies with "oh geez" and I sit there and laugh telling her "guys do not care." This statement is true. I know its true. Men do not view us in the same light that we view our selves. Listening to my mom and thinking about the conversations that women have when they are together made me want to write about this. I was on my Sunday walk with the girls and we were all talking about the changes we would like to see in our bodies. From the bottom up I would like to tone my calves, lift my butt, tighten my tummy, and make it so arms didn't have bat wings. I would also like to see more of my collarbone. And this will all happen once I loose these f*ing 15 pounds that wont go away. This is how I see myself, but ask someone who knows me and they will not say the same. My guy friends tell me to shut up, I just had a baby and look great. They are not as harsh or critical as we are. But to humor those who shake their heads at me I decided to ask my friends (THANK YOU by the way for letting me pick your brains.) Would you date a chubby girl? (Is how I started out.) "Yes...as long as she was trying to be healthy/is healthy." This was the number one answer. Over all it was all about being healthy and trying to be in shape. Look not everyone is going to be a size 2...I look my best at a size 6/8. I have curves so a 2 is not a good look. But a 2 for someone else is amazing. Also not all men want a size 2, they like the curves. This is why MY SEXY is for me. I know where I am most comfortable and I am working my butt off for me. This is how it should be...work your butt off for you, for where you feel most comfortable; not to fit into a size 2. Also when some people loose too much weight it looks like they have a big head on such a little body and its weird. Stop being so hard on yourself. Enjoy life and live healthy.

No kiss on New Years

I am actually very flattered to be writing this post. A great friend of mine asked me to write about why I am single and not dating. So here we go... New Years was a blast. I did dinner in the city with my brother and his wife. We all got dolled up at went out for an amazing dinner and then back to their apartment for bubbles. It was perfect, for me. Now reading this you might or probably are judging me on the fact that there is no mention of the new years kiss...well, there wasn't one. Heartbreaking...not really. I am 3 months out of a 6 year relationship and I have a child. That's some baggage. It is also not fair to potential partners for me to be dating so soon. And not talking about casual dating...I am talking about my friends are single and 30 dating to find a life mate dating..."hey wanna go out for pizza and a beer and hangout" dating totally cool. But trapping someone into relationship status dating right now, not fair. Why? you ask...because even though the break up was mutual and we are great co-parents there are still boundaries and things which have to be worked out, figured out, and put into place. I am 3 months out and it would look very odd to the new guy to see the ex calling the cell phone. NOW I know that the ex is calling to talk about the baby, pick up time, drop of time, etc., but for new guy; it could leave him wondering if there is something still there. See when you start dating someone new it can be messy...getting to know one another, learning each other, and when one of the parties involved JUST got out of a serious or long term relationship and have started dating right away it makes people wonder. "What if he/she decides they rather be with their ex?" Now right off the bat there is trust issues. And I also do not want to have to sit there and reassure the new guy that there REALLY ISN'T anything there anymore. I know what you might be thinking...not all guys are like that...and I know this, but I rather give it time, enjoy being single, enjoy my daughter, and let things just happen. I am not looking, but if something finds me, then I will give it a try. There is no rushing love or relationships. If it is meant to be it will be.

MY SEXY and doing this for me

Don't laugh...or shake your head as you read this. I am not loosing weight for you, or anyone else. I am doing it for me. I love feeling sexy; going to Victoria's Secret to buy new undergarments. Getting dressed in front of a full mirror so I can see how cute I look naked. With having my nugget I got up to 208lb. Holy hell that's heavy for me. I have lost 43lbs, so I am back down to my pre-prego weight but I have 15 more that I would like to loose so that I have that sexy feeling back. And again I am not doing it for you. You will not find me after this mission walking around half naked like most women do, because I do not care what you think. You will still find me in jeans and a t-shirt, hair thrown up. Just know when you see me, I know what I look like under that and I feel amazing. That being said I am noticing a trend of people working out, loosing weight, dressing half naked for other people and not for themselves. Why? and will you truly be happy in the long run if you are doing something for someone else. "I have to look like so and so so that he will like me." "I work out 4 days a week so that the ladies will like me with my shirt off." EWW. Just ew. I want to like you with your shirt on. I want to like you because you like you, and you are confident about yourself. Lets hope my mother doesn't read this post..and mom if you are stop reading now (please.) Here is an example...There is a gentleman who is unbelievably comfortable and confident with himself and it showed (blushing.) I, who is not at my personal best, was unbelievably shy, but he liked how I looked. He probably thinks I am nuts for wanting to hide, but again its about me. My sexiness is for me, not him, not you, not anyone. I am flattered that he found me attractive and it makes me blush, but just wait till I am back to MY SEXY...just wait.

Finding my other half

Preface: Sometimes when I write these, I feel like Carrie Bradshaw in SATC.  I write like I speak. Short sentences, yet they make complete sense to me, and I have little reason to go back an rewrite. I form an idea, and then I must write it down so I dont forget.

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Im one of those people who loves to be social...loves to talk, go out to lunch, brunch, dinner, drinks, etc. I'm a "4-6" er.  Meaning, I would love to go out 4-6 nights a week and be with people, or my BFF, BF, Husband, etc. If I get 1-3 nights/ days a week to myself, I'm completely satisfied.  I know others who might consider them selves "1-3"ers, where they dont need to be around a significant other or friends all the time, and are completely content with doing their own thing "1-3" nights on their own.

I was in a much too long relationship for about 2 yrs with someone who I considered a "6-7"er, they wanted to call me all the time and if I didnt pick up right away, I MUST have been with another guy...(seriously, this was spoken to me on the phone, once I did call them back). If I didnt want to go out with them, (for the 4th time that week) at the bar then I didnt love them. It was like this for most of the later half of the relationship, I dont know why I stayed...Oh Wait....I do...I wanted someone to hang out with....plus a few free drinks and meals were in there as well.  Come on girls, we've all done it a few times, taking one for the team!

A new guy I'm "talking/texting" with, I've been sensing...plus he has told me, he isnt looking for anything long term, and that he's been known to be a heart breaker of sorts...this was during his military days.

This makes me think that he's a "1-3"er...not that he will be that way forever, or maybe he will, but right now, we're not meshing, and all we're doing is texting long distance. Broke my heart when I got a reply txt after I had said 'good morning', with the previous night saying 'good night', of "Chill with it". Apparently its too much, too soon, too often.

But this is exactly my point, I understand he's not trying to be mean. He just wants the space he wants, and I, being the social person I am, want more! I want a lot out of my friends that I consider special and dear to my heart. I expect a 50/50 return on what I give vs receive and I do not think that that is too much to ask.

So to round the bases and bring it on home, I think I'll see where this friendship goes, and if its not meant to be, then yes I will be sad and back to square one, but perhaps he wasnt my other "4-6"er. My other half is out there.