No on 8

Main Entry: mar·riage Pronunciation: \ˈmer-ij, ˈma-rij\ Function: noun Etymology: Middle English mariage, from Anglo-French, from marier to marry Date: 14th century 1 a (1): the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law (2): the state of being united to a person of the same sex in a relationship like that of a traditional marriage b: the mutual relation of married persons : wedlock c: the institution whereby individuals are joined in a marriage2: an act of marrying or the rite by which the married status is effected ; especially : the wedding ceremony and attendant festivities or formalities3: an intimate or close union

I am writing this for the sole purpose of people understanding what saying YES on 8 will do. The greatest thing about America is that people are allowed to be who they are without fear of being prosecuted or punished. Everyone is allowed to follow their beliefs within the extent of the law. Wither you believe being gay is a lifestyle or genetics, by voting YES on 8 you are punishing gays for what they believe is right and fair. You are telling them that they do not deserve to have the same rights as you. Please put your beliefs aside for a moment and think about how you would feel if you were gay and told you could never in your life marry the person you love, or if you have a gay child you will never get to see their happiness.

Here is an imperfection that I want to pick on with straight people- you abandon your babies…straight people have sex and abandon their babies, they are left to be adopted or left in foster care. Do you know who adopts them? Gay men and women, and they give them a better home then some straight people. They teach their children about being excepting of all people and that being different is okay. Those children go to school and become friends with your child. Say your child is “different” then all the other kids (down syndrome, glasses, physical deformity) a child that is raised in a home where they are taught all are equal are the children that will befriend your child.

Just a thought.

To Have a Husband who...

• plays with my hair for 15-20 minutes most nights before I fall asleep
• holds me when I cry - especially when it's irrational...
• tells me he loves me about 10 times a day...
• does the dishes after dinner pretty much every night...
• tells me how beautiful he thinks I am...
• kisses my hand when we're driving in the car...
• will do almost anything I want to do, just to make me happy...
• tells me he misses me when I've been gone for more than 2 days in a row...
  

Most of these were from a friends blog that I read on a daily basis, but I thought it was too good to not post it myself!

Random Love Questions

1. When did you first see your husband / wife/ significant other?


2. Have you ever had a boyfriend that you regret dating?


3. Who is the boss in your house?


4. Where were you on Valentine's day?


5. Have you ever been given roses?


6. What is your all-time favorite romance movie?


7. At what age did you start noticing the opposite gender?


8. Are you happy with your love situation?


9. Do you love yourself?


10. When shopping do you see things you would like to buy for your partner?


11. Do you worry about how your partner would cope if you weren't there for them anymore?


12. Would you rather go out for the night with your partner than your friends?

Liz's Answers

1. I first saw him at my friend Nan's house in Sacramento

2. No

3. Sometimes me, sometimes Paul.

4. Ate dinner at Tommy Bahama's Restaurant.

5. Yes

6. Princess Bride or When Harry Met Sally

7. 6 yrs old, first grade had my first crush 

8. Very happy

9. Mostly

10. Always, it just happens

11. Yes

12. I would like to go to the places that I go to with friends, with Paul as well; like to the bars, etc.

You know you love someone when

You can ask anyone “how do you know when you’re in love?” and you will never get the same answer. I asked my parents once and they said “You know you love each other when you fart and it doesn’t faze either one of you.” My boyfriend says “Love is when you can have a crazy stressed out day and when you get home and you’re around that other person all that stress goes away and the crazy day no longer matters.”

I think that love is a combination of a lot things rolled into one. The two above, mixed with your partner being your best friend, being able to know what the other is thinking or getting ready to say before they say it, a balance between each others weaknesses and strengths and an understanding of each other. Being able to talk after a fight and not just hearing what someone is saying but listening too. Laughing all the time with each other. When a song comes on that you love you grab your partner and dance in your socks in the kitchen.

Surviving a move. If you still like each other after you have to move houses, you love each other. Yep. We are moving one house tonight and the other tomorrow. I am excited for this move but at the same time I hate moving, it stresses me out. The packing and unpacking, cleaning and not forgetting anything. Also the time, I dislike it when moving takes forever. The sliver lining for me is that this move is a good move. I’m not moving because I have to, like all the other times, I am moving so that we can live together. So all of this work in the end SO worth it for me. I do have to say thank you to my love because he makes it easier. He is my calm this week and I am probably driving him nuts. I think that if we didnt have the things that I listed above in our relationship he would have disowned me by now and told me to forget it.

Like a Snowflake

Relationships are like snowflakes, none are the same. My relationship isnt the same as Lizs and ours arent the same as yours. There are things in common in relationships but please remember if you are talking to a friend, what works for them may not work for you. When you have a problem or you arent sure about something yes it is natural to look to a friend for advice. When you get that advice, do not act on it right away. Take the time to think about how it could affect your relationship.


Side note:
Never compare your partner to someone of the same sex as them. Especially in a fight. Words last longer than you think.

24/7 Married version

I too, totally agree with not being glued 100% of the time to your significant other. Just recently I made a WW night with my friend "T". Our WW night was "Wine and Wii" we had so much fun. Dinner, wine, and Wii.

Along with that event on Tues, on Wed I had a hair appt, and Thurs I went to Ronnie House. 3 evenings I was gone that week.

I know my hubby was excited to watch his ESPN shows and watch silly TV shows I'd never watch, without me complaining, but when I call to tell him I'm on my way home, he sounds sad sometimes, he says it's because he misses me not being there. He's sooo cute about it. Makes me love him more.

24/7 I dont think so

Leave your man alone to be with his friends at least one night a week. You have a girls night or dinner with your family and let him have guys night or dinner with his family WITHOUT YOU. He will appreciate you more. (I have two brothers, I know these things) Guys need to do guy things without you, the same way you need to do girl things without them.

When you are able to give each other space like that, you like each other more. You should also be able to trust each other to have guy/girl nights. You are two individuals and you each had your own lives before you got together. You still need in ways to live those lives. When you're in a relationship, yes your lives are combined, even more so when you live with the other person and you should enjoy sharing experiences together but you also don't need to be up each others butts 24/7. (I do have to admit that there was a guys night last week that turned out had girls there and my feelings did get hurt because I was told that I couldn't come.)

Next time he's going to the club, make your own plans with the girls.

Not in the Plan

God (or whom ever you follow) likes to remind you that you are not in charge and that he has a plan for you. It’s most likely that it’s not the one that you had for yourself. I remember being 18 and having my life all planned out, and when things that I wanted didn’t happen I would be upset. I don’t look at it like that anymore. I am happy with who I am and what I have in my life. Do I wish that I had more; of course, everyone does, but I know that I will get there one day. I am just not going to push it anymore. I have the love of my friends and family and an AMAZING boyfriend, a good job and my health. Be happy with you. All of you, and if you aren’t make small day to day changes. Small changes will lead to bigger ones, just give it time. I was not part of my boyfriends plan for his life, he never wanted a girlfriend, but here I am. Hes learning that his plan is not always Gods plan and hes not fighting it anymore and hes happy.

Yes I said boyfriend (The Ex), he and I are back together and we are getting ready to move-in with one another!! Exciting I know. 2 days after I wrote a blog about the men in my life the New Guy (it was only 2 dates) was no longer. I just couldn’t do it. My heart has been and will be with The Ex-now Boyfriend. I couldn’t ask for a better man in my life.

Here are a few things that he and I do together to stay connected:

Cook. At least once a week we cook a meal together. We find something fun and easy that we both have never made before so that we are both learning. We turn on the music and get to cooking.

Clean. Yes we clean together. Last night we cleaned our bedroom, tonight it’s the bathroom. Not only does it get done faster it also means we are both contributing, making us equals. Its always good to try and balance house “duties”; someone cleans the bathroom the other person vacuums and dusts…one person cooks the other does the dishes.

Hug. Yep, super easy but it gives you a chance to bond. Our lives are separate yet combined and we all have our own stresses. Once we are both at home before we do anything or say anything we give each other a hug. It feels good and sometimes when you or the other person has a bad day it helps to feel each others energy.

Listen. Even if it’s during a commercial, lower the volume and listen. You may be surprised at what you’re going to hear. You learn a lot about your partner not only by what they say but how they say things. Also when you give someone your full attention it lets them know you care. Your TV program is not as important (and will most likely rerun) as your partner.

I love you. Even when you’re mad and fighting. You never know when you’re going to wake up and they aren’t going to be there so let them know that you love them a couple of times a day. Don’t ever be too busy to let them know how much they mean to you.

Saying No, just to say No!

I know I can be a bit difficult at times, mostly around my really close friends and family, probably because I figure I can get away with being snotty or annoying, and they'll wake up the next day still loving me! Any how I'm starting realize my actions and thoughts, and sometimes I do care about changing and controling my ways, and other times I could give a shit.

This morning was one of those times I couldn't care less about something Paul was interested in, ( I think it was something about what was on the radio) and I was being a butt head and making weird mocking noises about whatever it was we were talking about.

But later as I was at the sink in the bathroom my hubby pinches my arm real tiny like a needle, or at least that's what it felt like. I was not in the mood for it and I hit him on his gut with the side of my fist. I didn't knock the wind out of him, but it was hard enough to let him know I was mad.

I told him to please not pinch me so hard and then he stormed off to work with out our usual goodbye kisses.

I left the apt a few minutes after, but when he pulled out of the driveway he stopped on the opposite side of the street, got out, and came over to tell me he loves me and gave me my kiss. I then leaned on his shoulder and said I was sorry for hitting.

We're all better now, but it also got me thinking. Since we're adults, we know that we should control our actions at this point in life. We know things that make us mad and possibly act out. So if my husband and I have children, will they have these actions programed into their DNA? and if they do they're obviously not going to know to Not hit, and Not yell, and perhaps even become just smart enough and clever enough to say 'NO' to things just for the sake of saying NO!

I guess this is one more step in life that shows me I'm growing up.